Criticism on these brief essays on something that made this school stand out for me and something that i have ?

Check spelling mistakes obviously. Need a little better organization on the top one. Ideas are ok. Bottom one is weak. You might want to find out who graduated from there, and is now famous or doing work in the field you like. Then you can say, that you were impressed with the college because of its success in turning out successful people like X Y and Z. you believe that this college will help you achieve your personal goals and perhaps push you to achieve even more than you thought possible.